Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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