It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
