I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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