GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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