i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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