You just made me feel so damn special
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
