After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
