Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
