New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
