You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
