dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
