She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
