somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
