You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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