I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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