We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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