Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
