you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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