Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
