You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
