You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
