Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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