After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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