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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
