Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
