ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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