Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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