dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
