Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
