I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
