take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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