we made out on top of his cat.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
