I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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