lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
