first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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