I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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