Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
