You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
