so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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