mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
