she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like death gave me a hand job
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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