i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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