Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize