goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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