vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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