So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
