'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
