I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
