Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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