no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
