I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
