I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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