I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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