Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
