I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
