im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
