Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
