Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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