Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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