your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just crazy horny about you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
