You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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