This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
